Emotional Resilience Wiki

The Resilience Wiki project was curated by Jonny Miller (Curious Humans) and Jan Chipchase (Studio D) as part of the Emotional Resilience in Leadership Report.

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🔥 If you are currently in fire-fighting mode and concerned that some degree of emotional debt has already accumulated—the first order of operations is to acknowledge that there is a problem and that the default path is unsustainable. With so much going on we all lose sight of the broader perspective at times, so it’s vital that we have regular check-ins.

Q1. How do I genuinely feel? How does my body feel? Am I tense? How is my quality of sleep? When was the last time I felt deeply relaxed and rejuvenated?

Q2. Have I accumulated emotional significant debt? Does this way of living and working feel sustainable? Do I have tendencies to numb and distract myself? Am I prone to emotional outbursts?

Q3. What is my immediate recovery strategy? What are the non-essential tasks that I can delegate or eliminate to free up time for recovery and self-care? How could I set clear boundaries with my time and energy? What are the activities that nourish me and restore my vitality? Do I need to take time off?

Burnout symptoms vary significantly depending on the individual and their respective levels of mental and emotional exhaustion.

Self-care practices are essential for returning to baseline, but it is vital to note that these are ultimately insufficient if not paired with self-inquiry to bring awareness to the underlying internal stressors.

Remember that no matter how much in each moment you are suffering, there are always two choices:

This might sound simple but it is not easy. It takes courage to choose the latter and engage with discomfort. One of the great ironies of walking the path of resilience is that in the moment it feels like weakness.

In the short term, it will be tempting to stay in autopilot, to continue to numb by working longer hours or pretending that the problem will go away, at least until some version of rock-bottom is reached.

For those ready and willing to engage with practices for self-enquiry, a powerful starting point is the following question whom the executive coach Jerry Colonna is fond of asking: ‘In what ways are you complicit in creating the conditions you say you don’t want?’

The word complicit is chosen deliberately since it implies that you are neither fully responsible nor a victim of the circumstances. The question invites honest conversation and self-reflection.

Don’t go down this path alone. Having a coach, therapist or trusted group of fellow leaders on the same path will increase the odds of staying on track when it gets challenging. Below is a sampling of internal stressors with suggestions for countermeasures:

Emotional regulation and self-inquiry practices are the missing piece from many leaders’ toolkits. We define these as self-guided or facilitated practices designed to relieve the burden of accumulated emotional debt.

Gathering information and resources is the first step, but without committed and consistent routines and rituals, meaningful progress will be limited. As a proverb from a Papua New Guinean tribe goes ‘Knowledge is only a rumour until it lives in the muscle’.

As with climbing out of financial debt, they may need to be front-loaded in the beginning and then scheduled on a less frequent basis once the majority of the debt has cleared.

To be clear, strong emotions like anger or frustration will still arise—what will change with practice, is the efficiency with which they are processed and integrated, often resulting in greater self-awareness.

This work is not easy and there is no silver-bullet solution. What matters is a commitment to the process. We recommend diving in and keeping track of your resilience experiments and the insights that emerge. The list below is by no means exhaustive but aims to share some techniques we believe to be effective.

🧘 Metta Meditation // "It's a form of meditation that focuses on loving kindness and compassion for yourself and others around you. Little has been as effective for lower my blood pressure and change my mindset. It's especially helpful when in conflict with others"—shared by @jkleske

👪 CTO Craft // "Peer mentoring community for CTOs and other tech leaders, with Mentoring Circles and Coaching. I began the community in response to a lack of support for startup CTOs and a growing rate of burnout and failure among first-timers"—shared by @andyskipper

We aim to populate this list with vetted and world-class coaches who are nominated and highly recommended by those we trust.